Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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