Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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