Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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