I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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