I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
