How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
