So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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