so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you had me at cake vodka
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
