If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
