"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
