My sheets look like a crime scene.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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