I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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