Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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