david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
