she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
