Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
