come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
