why didn't you poke me back
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
