Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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