theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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