where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
