Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
