Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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