Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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