I don't think brook has ever known best
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
