His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
