Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
