is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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