Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
