when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
