The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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