What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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