never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
