I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
