I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
