She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
