Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Come on in and take your pants off
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