Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
