you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
