is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
