But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
