We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
