i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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