I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
