What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
