Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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