Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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