is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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