It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
