Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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