so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
