sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So apparently I’m into choking now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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