my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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